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April 2004 Vol.5. NO. 4 ......................................................Pages 10 and 11
Smart Blonde Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane. The guy turned to the beautiful blonde seated next to him and made his move by saying, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly, and said to the guy, “What would you like to discuss?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the player. “How about nuclear power?” “OK,” said the blonde. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass—the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces large clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” “Oh brother,” said the guy. “I have no idea.” “Well, then,” said the blonde, “how is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”
Grandparents To Grandparents !!! What is a grand-parent? (Taken from papers written by a
class of Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own They like other people’s. A grandfather is a man grandmother. Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us. When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also Why we shouldn’t step on “cracks.” They don’t say, “Hurry up.” They wear glasses. Grandparents don’t have to be smart. They have to answer questions like “why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”. When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again. Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us. They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
Country-Western Titles Best Country-Western Song Titles of All-Time • Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And
Your Buns In Bed Darwin Awards:
SPIDERMAN Mark Voegel became a gruesome feast for the creepy-crawlies he loved. They devoured his body after he got a lethal bite from his favorite pet Bettina - a deadly Black Widow. More than 200 spiders, several snakes, a gecko called Helmut and several thousand termites gorged on their former master for days. Police who were called in after neighbors complained about the smell said it was “like a scene from a horror movie”. They found the remains of 30-year-old loner Voegel draped across a sofa, covered in giant cobwebs. “Spiders were running all over him,” said a spokesman. “They were coming out of his nose and mouth. Larger pieces of flesh had been torn off by the lizards and were taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders. “There were open cages and terrariums everywhere - all bathed in a weird green light. It was horrible.” Police described Voegel’s tiny apartment in the German city of Dortmund as a cross between a botanical garden and the butterfly breeding room in the serial killer movie The Silence of the Lambs. Local expert Gabi Bayer said Voegel should never have been allowed to keep many of his pets. She added: “Some of his spiders are so aggressive they’re the equivalent of the pit-bull in the animal world.” Submitted on 2004Feb28, Submitted by: Dug Fresh, Reference: Mirror.co.uk, Copyright © 2004 DarwinAwards.com Unclassifieds FOR SALE: 1986 Chevy Suburban.
MUST SEE! Rebuilt 350 engine, rebuilt transmission, new brakes, calapers,
roters, tires, 2 1/2 in. lift, FOR SALE: Prontos S-300 Book Binding Machine. Makes “perfect bound” (square back) paperback books. Cost $10,000.00 new. Great for schools or businesses with a lot of publications. Used once. Works GREAT! Make offer. Must Sell! Call Skip at 505-747-0589. AD DEADLINE: Deadline to advertise in the May 2004 issue of The Sun-News is April 21, 2004. For more information call Skip at 505-747-0589.
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Inside This Issue
2004 Bumper Stickers Arab Nightmare...............13 Azi Comes to Life ...........14 BioDemocracy ..................2 Book Reviews .................15 "Check This Out".......... 5 Cleaning Up.................. 14
Colymbosathon Country Western Titles... 11 Darwin Awards........... 5, 11 Digital Shoot Out............ 12 Got Dignity ....................14 Grandparents................. 10 Human Glow Light .........11
Important Action For Your Lara's Theme .................. 9 Letters to the Editor......... 12
Movie Making in New No Child Left Behind....... 1 North Central NM Events . 3 Not So Smart Robber ...... 14 Pass The Mustard..............8 Smart Blonde................ 10
Smarter Than The Old Unclassified.....................11 Weird News ....................14
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